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Odds-n-Ends :: When People Say (blank), What They Mean Is (blank)

Rev! Magazine, June 2006
1)      When a parishioner says, “Pastor, we feel God is leading us to another church because we feel the need for more ‘meat,’” what she’s really saying is…
a.      Feeling beat up will make going to church seem more worthwhile.
b.      I want to get out before the approaching capital campaign.
c.       You don’t look or sound like John MacArthur.
d.      I want to feel the way I do when I watch Benny Hinn.
2)      When a board member says, “Pastor, everyone’s been telling us that they have concerns about the direction our church is headed,” what he really means is…
a.      My two buddies and I have been talking about you behind your back.
b.      We don’t want to embrace any changes right now; status quo rocks!
c.       You didn’t ask me first.
d.      You’re not doing things my way.
3)      When the youth ministry director comes to you and asks, “Would it be okay if we did something a little different in order to reach more kids?” what she’s really saying is…
a.      I’m looking for a carte blanche license to do something so crazy that both of us may get fired.
b.      I’m not going to tell you specifically what I have in mind because if I did it would scare you to death.
c.       I want to bring in a rock band so loud that it cracks plaster.
d.      I need to have permission for something I’ve already done.
4)      When other pastors from your denomination ask you how things are going, what they really mean is…
a.      Do you have any gossip to pass along?
b.      Why are so many people from your church coming to mine now?
c.       Please ask me how I’m doing so I can brag.
d.      When do you expect the lawsuit to be filed?

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